Saturday, August 1, 2015

For Mathematics Teachers Only:


School is coming up soon and I have some tips that may eliminate some of the headaches you will get during the year

First, base your grading system on a million points instead of a hundred points.  This will eliminate you discussion about being "only half a point away from passing".  "But Bobby, you're over 5,000 points away from passing - I just can't curve your grade that much."

Second, don't argue about whether students can use calculators on tests and quizzes.  Just re-write you tests to include only numbers with at least 12 significant digits.  (Warning: This won't work if the student has a TI-89 calculator.)

Third, allow all students to turn in homework late - no mater what the excuse is.  Tell them to sign up for your course again next term, and they can turn in their homework at that time - and you will give them full credit.

Fourth, don't worry about typos or proof reading your tests, and you can still use multiple choice tests!  Just add another answer for each question: "E:  None of the answers above are correct.  The correct answer is (fill in the blank).  (Please remember, the answer needs to be be accurate to 12 significant digits!)"

Rent a "Robo-Call Machine" and program it with each parent's phone number.  "Johnny did not complete or turn his his homework today.  Please complete his homework assignment for him and bring it to the school before the end of the school day.  Thank you."

Add statements to at least half your report cards saying: "Though Johnny is having difficulty at school, testing indicates that he might excel in a a home schooling environment."

Finally, if you are the kind of teacher that occasionally assigns "write offs" - continue to do so.  Have the student write: "If I could come to class on time and prepared, take notes during class, and do all of my homework and turn it in on time, then I would almost certainly be able to pass all of my tests."  Just assign 10 of these to the student.  But assign 90 of these to the parent: "If I would teach my son or daughter to be on time ... " etc., etc., etc.

I hope these simple tips will help get your year off to a smooth start.


1 comment:

  1. Hey David. Love this. I've just adjusted my grading scale...can't wait to dismiss all those requests for extra credit! Best of luck this school year.